Sunday, October 17, 2004

this world is really complicated.
its really so hard to see the true face behind each person.
u see them smiling, laughing, joikng, teasing, acting cool, being suave, being bitchy, being bimbotic, get shy, blush, be embarassed. underneath tt facade, under the mask, everything can be diff.
they have their own pain they are gg through, their unknown secrets.
or they can be scheming, backstabbing ppl, and a twofaced person.

hai. why can't humans be simpler. less complex.

but thats not possible. this is wad separates man from animals. this 'unique' quality we have.

haha eh i think i am talking rubbish.

had a brief conversation with na yesterday abt gd and his new gf in nyjc. and we wondered why everyone can find a gf at ny. zhiming, gd, chungwei, him. so now both of us in the same situation.
both of us from same class RP, both was attached at nearly the same time to 2 guys in the same class.
me and na in same clique.
both guys in same clique.
heartbroken due to break up requested by guy,
heartbroken again when they find a gf in ny within a short period of time.
learning how to let go,
learning how to cope with the loss.

at that moment, sitting in the quiet and dimly lit airport at night, both of us reminisced our past silently, happy times flashed in our minds, memory of pain and anguish came next.

then na said: 'too bad for them they dunnoe how to treasure us, and go for ny girls instead.'

i smiled. 'yah loh.'

trying to console ourselves. or at least, i was.

so one fine day when i am in the mood, i shll write out the story abt us. and maybe by then i will have the courage to delete his emails, for them to vanish forever.

Posted by Jeannie at 6:11 PM

haha poor me left alone at home again.

where is everyone?!

haha no one to sudy with me today. geri's gone shopping! joan decided to be mugger at home. xtina stay so far. shena woke late and airport's too far for her! yup and my sis abandoned me for her friends...

haha so the only gd thing tt happened today is tt it rained! haha ok i do love rainy days.. din get my sunday swim today cuz of erm, haha girl reasons so i dun mind the rain!

bored sitting at home.. i can't concentrate at home!

haha studied at airport with shena and geri yesterday! quite fun lah and w were gd girls, we studied! haha ok yes halfway through we sneaked to the candy shop.. haha shena splurged 7 bucks on chocolates and sweets! haha i got a super sour lollipop to keep myself awake during studying..
day was fine till my contact lens started rebelling! so i had to put my newly made spects to gd use.. and at this very moment shena remem she brought her digicam. so i had to take at pictures looking like a nerd. *horrified*
haha no lah actually i'm used to my intellectual look le. haha i've been in spects 6 yrs le wad, no big deal.. haha..
geri left at abt 6 i think, then me and shena studied till abt 9 when the staff canteen was abt to close, then we saw tt the burger king too crowded so we went one corner of the airport where it was rather dimly lit and studied till 1030 be4 we left.. realised lots of homeless old men sleeping there and the 2 of us was left feeling sorry for them. one old man siting near us talked to us and even wished us gd luck for our exams. so sweet.

and shena got lost! she took wrong direction bus in the morn and did the same thing while gg home, gave me a huge scare cuz its already 11 plus le and she is also blur blur one..

haha blogged my boring day yesterday cuz i have nothing better to do (ok i have sth better to do, which is studying. oh well.)

i miss the airport, miss parkway bk, miss millenia walk bk..

Posted by Jeannie at 3:17 PM

Friday, October 15, 2004

haha it was quite useless going sch today.. i think only the geog lesson was useful lah. we were all studying under lt2 when we were chased away by the teacher cuz they wan prepare for open house. ok it was quite noisy and everything, saw lots of ppl, yeewen,xiangting,jasmine,juleng,melissa,ee jean, my sis and so on.. haha quite fun lah, tj open house always seems exciting and very happening but then after tt tj is just a big boring place. hahah..

tts all for today, no mood to blog.

Posted by Jeannie at 10:29 PM

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Jeannie's farewell msg:

hey dearest ppl out there, haha decided to start my isolation plan early and so today is the 1st official day of isolation instead of on sunday. had a breakdown yesterday night cuz i got stressed due to not knowing how to do the miliionth math question. and so i unplugged my computer and left it to collect dust at my balcony and i dunnoe how to plug it back anyway so now its a not a source of distraction for me. btw, i am typing this entry in the sch comp lab lah.. haha..

and so in isolation mode now and wan to say a few words cuz it is my last entry till A levels le. everyone must tk care care, for those taking A levels u all must jiayou le cuz this is one last journey and hurdle in your jc life that u must conquer or regret 4ever. dun be stressed, get enough rest, do relaxing activities, dun just study study study non stop cuz tt will backfire and cuz harmful effects instead.
we can do it!

hai.. i am starting to miss ppl and things i am gg to isolate myself from. it takes perseverence and determination to not pick up the hp and call or sms, or to try to piece back my poor dismantled comp... ok *BIG HUG* to the ppl i miss, must tk care k ppl, i may not reply msges very fast cuz it wun be with me 24 hrs le. and *muacks* to all the girls!

Posted by Jeannie at 11:29 AM

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

new police story is a nice movie! its touching, funny, thrilling at the same time.. and of course, a movie tt leaves a deep impression also depends on who you watch it with! haha..

actually i dun really like bugis. too many gd memories that hurt once getting out of the mrt station. its like u thought u frogot, but once u step on tt familiar ground everything just comes back to you like a fast-forward movie and hitting you, rendering u speechless and overwhelmed at the same time. but today was ok. =)

being a 17 yr old doesn't really expose u much to the harsh realities of life. i do take alot of things for granted cuz i always have the mindset tt i still have a long way to go in life and there is plenty of time in the future for me to worry and ponder, but not now.
however, it suddenly occurred to me tt life is not so simple.
whatever chances i have but dun take now, i'll regret in the future, ppl whom i dun cherish now may not be here in the future, things i have now may not be mine in the future. at 35, when i look back into the past i really dun wan regrets, cuz life cannot be repeated, lost time is lost.

so ppl, live life in a meaningful way, do the things u wan to do, take risks that u wan to take, see the person u wan to see, love wholeheartedly, say wad u feel u have to say, tell the ppl u love tt u love them, show them u care for them and treasure them.

this post is triggered by the pending isolation period next week. feeling like hugging everyone and tell everyone to take care while i go into isolation and not see them anymore, oh well, shall save the emotions till sunday..

Posted by Jeannie at 10:39 PM

Monday, October 04, 2004

hahaha feels good having dark skin again... having exams and sitting in shade for weeks certainly bleaches my skin..
tts why on sunday dragged my sis out to go swimming. when we went out the sky was brimming with dark clouds with a tiny bit of sun, once we got down in the water in less then 2 mins, it started to rain. -_-'''
at this moment saw someone in the pool beside me and we immediately recognised each other, this guy from cchs student council who is also in tjc. ok both of us forgot why we know each other, in fact, the only words we exchange before is ''hi'' and the stupid thing is we dun even know wad each other's name is. and then while talking we realised both of goal for tt day is to swim 25 laps (our definition of a lap is go to one end and come back) and so we decided to just start swimming. quite funny guy, made me and my sis laugh cuz he blur blur.
and so in the end rain stopped and sun came out!!! haha finished our laps and went sit on the middle pool steps to soak in the sun.
the end product: a very sunburnt sister, and as for me its only my face looking abit burnt. this morn went sch and was immediately greeted by his frantic waving and we laughed at each other's sunburnt faces, quite funny.

today experienced a very no link thing. was in GP class and asking teacher abt my essay script. ok during the exam i was rushing for time and so i scribbled in an uncharacteristic untidy manner and thus teacher asked me:

teacher: girl wad happened to your handwriting?
me: orh i was rushing for time.
teacher: are u sick? you unwell?
me: *gave duh look* huh? no ah not sick..
teacher: did u go do sth, u look burnt.
me: *gave sheepish look* i went swimming yesterday..
which left me to wonder wad does looking burnt have to do to being sick and being sick have to do with my handwriting.

and i really must look into the point of why teachers always ask if i'm ok in class. do i look sickly?! Mr D asked me tt 2 or 3 times last yr. thought he gg to scold me for not paying attention or stoning but instead he asks if i'm feeling sick. haha cute, teachers can be nice at times though... teachers like Mr Quek!!!!
i only go sch on tues for him ok, for his maths lesson, which is the ONLY lesson i have the whole day.. weird timetable arrangement, make me wear sch uniform, wake at 545, take 2 buses and mrt to sch, stone till 1040, go one maths lesson then can go home. hai which is tml..

and i dun feel well now.. maybe shld slp..

ppl jiayou ok? A lvls will be over soon.. in the midst of stress and studying du forget to rest, watch tv abit, go running, swimmming, watch a movie.. haha we an conquer the exams! jiayou le..

Posted by Jeannie at 10:56 PM

Saturday, October 02, 2004

ah here comes a meaningful entry.
haha i miss my secondary sch classmates!
i miss sheena, felicia, mae, sweehan, zixin, huiyi from 2ly, i miss haoting, shena, cynthia, zhiyun and wanqi from 4rp, i miss valerie, peimin, yaping, rebecca, kimberley from kong hwa...
haha happened to be bored yesterday night and found all my old letters and cards in the past.. eek i think i was a very boring person in the past.. haha really miss being able to write letters and passing it to each other in class, esp to sheena! her cards and letters took up 70%.. haha isnt sec sch life just perfect..
went airport study today.. wah the whole world like studying there can.. last time when i reach at 11 i'll see only 1/4 tables occupied.. today when i reach only abt 2 tables empty! scary.. and as time passes the staff canteen became a sch lib as more and more ppl came.. wah singaporean kids are all so muggerish! except for this table of 5 girls and 3 guys behind geri who apparently came airport not to study but for the sole purpose of giggling, gossiping and flirting. luckily i blasting music to drown them out, poor geri had to tolerate them the whole day...

did a stupid thing when waiting for 24 at the airport. haha the bus was there whe we reached and there was no one inside, the driver also not inside. and so i look left right up down, check driver haven come back and wanted to open this small latch at the bus side to see the button which you have to press to open bus door from the outside. the moment i touched the latch, the driver came walking from behind me and geri quickly warned me then i quickly jump away. and the driver was trying not to laugh at me.
-_-'' super embarassing.

*yawn* tired.
kind of miss rugby..

Posted by Jeannie at 11:33 PM

Friday, October 01, 2004

i hate BoA.
sorry and no offence to ppl out there who like her but i dun like her... ppl close to me will know why lah, but i really have to grudging admit tt her song 'waiting' is nice.. nevertheless i still dun like her..

prelim results are back, and its generally disappointing for me. other than my gp compre, and a lit essay(which is just one essay out of SEVEN) maths was expected bad result, geog.. hai geog is one major disappointment lah...

BUT

as my senior says(u know who u are): dun just complain brainlessly and yet not doing anything abt it.. and so i read and reread my geog essay and teacher's comments and i finally know wads wrong with me! i memorise geog details and info like crazy and during the exam i just regurgitate everything out, throwing out all info regardless of whether it is relevant to answering the question or not.. i realise i really have a rusty brain from stoning too much.. i just dun use my brain and think, i dun absorb things, i dun analyse things.. and so in conclusion, i've been living in vain for the past one yr or so, nv leaving the exact same place and situation i was after sec4s, not learning anything useful, not knowing anything meaningful, nv done anything worth remembering, nv gain any knowledge except from textbooks and notes.. and overall, i consider myself a redundant and useless human being without any contribution to the society wasting resources.. *argh*

and so, i rarely blog nowadays, cuz it seems as if i'm just complaining abt the stupid things and emotions in life and its getting to seem more and more superficial to me.. no content, no depth. hey but a blog is for someone to let out emotions isn't it? but it seems different now, for some reason...

noticed an upward increasing trend of guys complaining tt females are hard to understand. haha eh i believe tt is true ah, girls are indeed quite hard to understand and some even harder... mysterious creatures who change moods as fast as guys are fickle minded abt which girl they like(oops tts stereotyping) and their thoughts are complex and in summary, confusing. for me, most of the time i really dunnoe wad i wan and wad i feel cuz they change so fast i'm just left in a blur and confusion and in the end i'll just get frustrated and consequently angry or upset. the complications of being a girl...
and of course we have to present 2 sides of the argument so we can get a balance and most imptly a higher score(practicing essay writing), guys can be equally hard to understand and complicated at times.. but i think most of the time they just cant be bothered and always function on an emotion deficit lah anyway.

i'm spouting rubbish again..
realised there are lots of diff kinds of girls in the world(duh.)
a chinese saying goes: 'shao jian duo guai' which means wad u rarely see or encounter makes it more mysterious and exotic. hahaha pardon the stupid translation but its sth like tt..

yes yes rjc girls are gd(no offence to rj) , they are of a diff level and diff type entirely and yah they sure are appealing.
but now i dun really care, cuz everyone can be powerful in their own little way, being the person as they are.. no point being bothered abt it cuz it does not matter! <--- trying to convince myself.

and so concludes wad i wan say today. another brainless entry.