Sunday, April 23, 2006

like SHUT UP la. ppl gay then gay la wads tt of your business?

they are born this way, they are attracted to males naturally. so who are u to care?

in fact. i think gay guys are better than straight guys.

ROAR. so shut up abt all those selfish and brainless comments tt gays should die or go to hell or should not even exist cuz they are a taboo and against the nature. if you are born bloody ugly does tt mean u are against the nature too?

rah. just shut up if u dun wan to think with your pea brain or pea heart.

ok pms. its hard to be in a gd mood when:

1) u have nothing in your stomach.
2) u have this headcracking headache.
3) u have this awful sorethroat.
4) u just KNOW u are gg to have flu.
5) its not funny cuz u have exam the next day. -_-



my heart is tired of all the emotions, my brain is tired from all the thinking.

can i run away?

Posted by Jeannie at 6:19 PM

Saturday, April 22, 2006

i wanna be a lesbian!!!!!!

read the blog of colin and kero and those tt they link with.

i conclude tt gays and lesbians are so much closer in a relationship than a straight couple.

they are perpetually in honeymoon period, they nv get tired of each other easily, they are much much more loving.

maybe its because its just the 2 of them, against the whole world of family, friends and cynical society. united, not alone.

much more effort being put in, much more time and love invested.

if tts the case, i really wan to be a lesbian. i sick and tired of being in a boring predictable boy girl relationship, where life turns mundane after a while, when ppl dun appreciate you cuz a straight relationship is easier to maintain, easier to find.

and as time passes no one bothers to put in any effort anymore.

if i can choose, i only wan my relationships to be 3 months long.

3 months of complete sweetness and lovey dovey and the urge to just announce to the whole world : we are together!!!

3 months of constantly missing each other, thinking up surprises, smsing each other like it'll kill to not be in contact for a few seconds.

3 months of going to places, thnking of places to go to, taking pictures like there is no tml, flooding friendster and blogs with happy pics of being together.

tt sweet 3 months be4 any problems come in. be4 you get tired of each other. be4 u dun make effort. and u start taking things for granted.

so francis was right after all. i'm looking for a short term relationship, looking for a boyfriend.

not a husband. not a long term one in which many problems will soon roll in, responsibilities, unhappiness.

rah. all these thoughts at 4 in the morning.

have to meet amanda darling, evon daddy and kay mummy to eat breakfast oh no! hahaha.

Posted by Jeannie at 4:14 AM

Monday, April 17, 2006


haha i'm so happy tt i'm bursting with happiness in me!!!!

my darling is BACK. hahahahaha...
no changes to him at all, just tt he has slightly rosy cheeks from the cold in shanghai, very pretty! hahah oops.

was feeling not excited at all at the prospect of seeing him. was waiting at the belt with joanne (his sis and jevon if u are seeing this u lazy pig nv go fetch your bro. hahaha) hahaha sorry to say tt but really, din feel anything. till the moment i saw him pushing the airport trolley with alot of luggage(nv really remem how to spell tt) and walked out from the door.

the feeling of seeing him and touching him again was one i'll nv forget. =)

the 1st whisper in my ear: "darling i've missed you" was enough to melt me into a puddle.

awww.. hahaha ok too explicit for my blog le the rest i wun say. anyways, he bought this ultra big bear for me!

this bear took up my whole bed space. and its really alot bigger than me, just tt its shorter than me. hahah extremely cute!

haha ok la darling u are free from all your wrongdoings. cuz i love bears!! and this one is really huggable.

and i'm really touched, tt u remem i love bears, and u bothered to buy such a big bear and to carry it all around shanghai and hangzhou, and to get it back to s'pore into my arms. =) thank you.

he bought loads of things back, i still have a top, 2 pairs of earrings, a set of porcelain pigs(hohoho this also very cute) a traditional looking thing tt look like dreamcatcher but its said to grant wishes, this pink tweety bird thing to hang on
my hp, and a pudding!

hahaha the pudding was heart shaped, in white jelly at the bottom, clear jelly on the top and a yellow jelly rose in the clear jelly. very very pretty and sweet. couldnt really bear to eat it but did in the end! =)

but of cuz, i'm most happy tt my darling is back... last photo of me in makeup gg clubbing and be4 i cut my long hair off.

now i'm a gd girl with no makeup, no golden green toe nails, no gg clubbing frequently on wed.

i finally am happy. haha and finally i can slp peacefully, knowing you're here in sg with me. and finally i have someone to confide in after a long day of unhappiness, and to share my happiness with.. i can call u in the middle of the night if i'm scared, i have someone to hold when watching horror movies, or during touching moments in the cinemas, someone i can act cute to and not get scolded or teased at, to accompany me to walk down the streets, to go for a picnic and etc.

finally i have u with me. =)

Posted by Jeannie at 2:17 AM

Thursday, April 13, 2006

i went to watch national cross country today!!! hahaha to support doron's brother jevon... wah saw cchsm and tjc pe teachers! though i dunnoe the students le, i'm old. -_-

haha almost got lost, din really know where turf city was! walked a long way in.. stood in the midst of hundreds of super fit, dark, skinny sportsmen and sportswomen (actually more of sportsboy sportsgirl) and felt inadequate. why they all dun have any fats! *pouts*

haha oh ya, it was swelteringly hot there la.. at the start i saw this girl with rather thick makeup. when i saw her 2 hrs later, it all melted le... got so bimbo or not, sports event also must put thick makeup?

was very surprised tt only 15 mins after the boys started running, they were on their way back le! 4.5km in 15 mins! i was very impressed. was rather far away cuz the front was full of students supporting their own schs, so din really see jevon. saw someone who looked very like him and he was in the 1st quarter of the runners who came in!

after tt passed jevon the gd luck pack and went off le.

today sheares had fire drill!!! i think i nearly went deaf from the VERY loud and shrill fire alarm.

i'm very bored.

Posted by Jeannie at 1:49 AM

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

wheeee! in a lovely mood today, maybe cuz of the ultra nice weather...
and my ultra nice weather means cooling gloomy dark rainy days... haha absolutely lifts up my spirits when i see this kind of weather, nothing can cheer me up better!

had the most unhappy and angry filled night last night ever.

the anger in me was scary.

all i wanted to do was scream and shout and crash and break every single thing in my room.

gosh. do ppl have this kind of emotions too or is it just me?

maybe i'm psychotic. hahaha..

nothing could cool me down, not even gg for jog or brisk walk.

so in the end i forced myself to slp at 2 plus.

AT 2 PLUS!! tts a record.. i usually dun slp till its 8am. i'm nocturnal.

and i woke up to this therapy of hearing thunder crashing and soothing rain outside my window.
my anger?
it all flew out of the window. =)

tts it! haha urgent times call for urgent measures.

ANNOUNCEMENT
jeannie is gg to love herself! =)

hall activites next sem: Touch rugby, bball(or handball) and soccer. if i feel like it i'll join swimming.

time to stop wallowing in self pity and fill my life with sunny sporty healthy activities again!
the thought of being able to run under the scorching sun and diving on the grassy muddy patch just gives me this rush of adreline. not gg to neglect my once still not fit but at least quite fit body again! hohohoho so happy!!!!!!!!

bleah. to ppl who always wan to say i fat. u wait. by the end of this yr i'll have the last laugh right down to the last evil and rude comment abt me being fat. although i dun mind being called a pig, pigs cute. but there is no need to keep repeating tt point like arun-down old record. fat then fat la like its any of your business, not like u all also skinny till where. unless u are skinny like model skinny, then shut up abt me being fat. *roll eyes* some ppl just try so hard to bring u down. in short, i'll make u eat your words.

last but not least, clubbing anyone? destress from all those depressing thoughts and books and coursepacks and mountainous notes. its driving me crazy.

Posted by Jeannie at 3:45 PM

Monday, April 10, 2006

*dun bother to read this post. rantings.*

hai why is it whenever i feel i can be happy once again u must go and ruin it
all?

i learnt not to have high expectations cuz u are overseas.

i learnt tt i cant expect to call/sms u or for u to call/sms whenever u
want cuz u are overseas.

i learnt to expect u to fall aslp when talking
to me at night cuz u are tired.

i learnt tt u cant talk to me online cuz
u have work to do.

i learnt not to complain when u said u'll sms but u
din.

i learnt not to complain when u forget to sms me be4 slping at
night.

i learnt to accept tt the webcam i bought wun be used at all. cuz
u said u cant find a webcam to buy. i swallowed tt stupid and absolutely
brainless excuse. shanghai is a bustling advanced city, u expect me to believe u
cant find a single webcam there? fine, i act like i have zero IQ and let it be.

i accepted everything with no complains, i felt happy once more.

u know why girls always love to put guys down? to say they are jerks,
bastards, pigs and assholes? because u all give us plenty of excuses to accuse u
all of all tt. because simply, u all are just all of the above.

u know i
am unhappy over tt incident. instead of consoling me like a boyfriend will, you:

1) repeat the sentence " darling dun be unhappy la" and hope i'll get
over it soon. if this works the psychiatrist can just tell the patient to get
over her depression and the patient will miraculously recover ok.

2)
keep quiet and hope i tt my unhappiness will go away like if u wish hard enough
money will drop from the sky.

3) keep saying "but i dunnoe wad to do"
"wad u wan me to do"
yeah right if i have to tell u wad to do for every
single thing y would i need a bf anyway?

4) try to end the conversation
by asking me to go and slp and tt u will talk to me tml and end and try to end
the conversation nicely by say "darling i love you" so everytime i get angry u
just say i love you then everything will be solved le right. if tts true go say
i love u to the tsunami and volcano and see whether they will erupt.

i
dun understand y guys are so stupid. they cant be bothered to try. they say i
love u and think it'll cure everything. they buy u a gift and think everything
is solved.

u put the phone down on him and he goes to slp thinking
everything will be fine the next day.

love is not a bed of roses ok.
wake up your idea.
i desperately want to just call and shout at u, to sms u
an angry msg.

but u know wad? i think u'll just "hai why she like tt
again" "hai wad u wan me to do again"
or u will just ignore my sms till at
night and sms "darling call me now?" and act like everything is alright.

but u know wad? i'm not gg to care anymore since u dun.
u can find
another girl to say i love u to since its such a common sentence for u to use to
get out of any kind of trouble.

i feel like just ranting on and on and
on. i just feel exasperated y cant u just get the impact of wad i am saying y
cant u just bother for abit to think and just your brain and TRY. cant u just
freaking try. will it kill u? i am sick and tired of u and sick and tired to
have to complain abt u and just plain sick and tired of trying to make u just
SEE wad i am talking abt i just wan to be happy i wan to blog happy posts i wan
to put up happy pics of us and tell the whole world i am a happy girl instead of
having to blog to vent my frustrations and let everyone see how vulnerable i am
on the inside and for u to just try instead of always saying u dunnoe and for u
to ask me wad to do wad to do when u FREAKING have a mind of your own and u are
the boyfriend why do i have to tell u wad to do.

and i know tt even as i
type this bloody angry and frustrated post it will be reduced to insignificance
cuz u just dun take me seriously nor u care and u just cant freaking understand
y your gf's unhappiness dun disappear like magic.

i hate u. i hate the
way u make me feel like i'm angry over nothing and i am ranting over nothing cuz
u cant be bothered with it anyway and u just jope tt wadever i am unhappy abt it
will just go away by itself without any effort on your part STOP BEING SO BLOODY
NONCHALANT ABOUT EVERYTHING I'M NOT A DOG OR CAT OR HAMSTER OR A FRIEND OR A
RANDOM PASSERBY ON THE FREAKING ROAD.

i'm your gf.

u can console
jiayi when she was sad. u can console eileen when she was sad. u can console
chunkiat when he was sad. u can console all your friends when they are sad. u
get alarmed when their tears fall.

but when mine fall, do u even care?
when i am sad, do u even care?

then i'll rather be your friend.

Posted by Jeannie at 5:15 AM

bleah. sorry for tt evil post previously.
but i still feel rather sore over it. and i was really pissed. though it wasnt any big thing.
but i dun like being made use of. in such an unappreciative manner too.

i mean,
if u want someone to help u do sth, at least have the courtesy to be polite abt it. dun make it sound like you are doing a favour to me. oh wait. u SAID u are doing me a favour just cuz u gave me sth to do. how rude is tt?

and seriously, it din make me any less bored.

and so i helped. fine i admit it was half-hearted. hello, i'm bored and u ask me to do even more boring things.

and u tell me tt wadever i found can be found by anyone else. and i was lousy.

HELLO? get back to reality pls, i helped u a couple of times be4 ok but tt does not make me your secretary and u can just take me for granted and criticise me like tt.
i treat u like a friend and try to help and u treat me like a free secretary u can exploit at all times.

even nice ppl have limits ok. and so u know wad? from now on u can do everything yourself ok since i am so lousy.

ROAR. make me lose temper. a long long time since i've stayed pissed at someone for over a day.

oh and nahbei the lobster has a new friend! its kani the caterpillar. hahaha its a very very big and hairy caterpillar found by the roadside on our way back from prata supper.
and the two names added tongether becomes.... u go think urself. hahahaha i din name them!

read this beautiful notebook with some bday scribblings by my sec sch gd friends and i miss them loads. =( i love haoting shena zhiyun cyn and wanqi! though they wun see this.. hahah just felt like proclaiming my love for them.

Posted by Jeannie at 1:17 AM

Sunday, April 09, 2006

i'm bored. i'm not online for u to use as a secretary.
even if i am bored, i dun have to help u do wadever things u ask me to do.
ANd even if i help you do, its out of goodwill. so dun make it sound like u are doing this HUGE favour for me. cuz seriously i have better things to do to keep myself occupied.
even if u dun wan to say thanks, its really NOT up to you to say tt wadever i help u do is not up to standard.

cuz in the 1st place, i could have chosen not to help u AT ALL.

i may be nice, but dun exploit my nice-ness to tt kind of extent.

Posted by Jeannie at 2:07 AM

Thursday, April 06, 2006

hohoho blk d level 7 girls have adopted a new pet!!!!

hahaha and its name is "nahbei the lobster".

ok pardon the name, hahaha its previous owner is a famous shearite (sheares hostelite) who is famous cuz of her colourful language. haha she is an interesting senior la in short.

welcome the new member of the level 7 community! no pics yet cuz my sis passed me the mp3 charger instead of the camera charger. -_-

in case u are wondering, nahbei the lobster is not a full ig lobster but just like at most 7cm. hahaha its so cute!

and darling is coming back le. 8 more days!! pls pass quickly!!!

Posted by Jeannie at 2:03 AM

Sunday, April 02, 2006

wheeee time flies.

just 12 more days left.
i just cant believe tt i survived a month by myself. ok fine i din survive too well but at least i am still surviving!!

oops. so jeannie is not single nor available le.
and i cant have flings.
nor flirt (not tt i did anyway, i still like girls better)
nor ogle at shuai ges.
cannot discuss with amanda and yingying if this or tt guy is gd for us or not.
cannot swoon over guys tt i dun really like.

-_-

sounds like hell.

hahahaha kidding kidding. sorry darling.

and this is my poor darling who got conned by me to do this ridiculously stupid but cute pose. hahahaha

and my poor mum was whining abt me going missing when he comes back.
aww i wun forget u all! u are my family! *hugs mum* she say she will teach me to make a pizza tml! yay!

i heart my mum. =)

Posted by Jeannie at 4:30 AM