Friday, April 27, 2007

out of complete boredom and curiosity,

i went to look at our blog.

the forgotten blog, tt ppl in love set up, and abandon when they break up.

bittersweet.

looking at your posts.

closed the window.

like a guilt-ridden thief, tried to clear my internet history, cookies and files.

to rid of the evidence. to erase u away agn.

and like a complete irony, for the 1st time, it din work.

3 times i clicked, the dropdown scroll showed the url of our past memories.

like how i tried and tried to get u out of my mind, yet fail.

but in the end internet relented.

now, a clean, empty scroll down bar.

i will succeed too.

yays.

for now, STUDY.

shit la i seem to have this bad habit of blogging be4 morning pprs.

i feel damn lucky staying in hall.

Posted by Jeannie at 11:42 PM

Thursday, April 26, 2007

so sian of studying. im craving for weird stuffs.
i want cute cupcakes, pretty ones,

or i wanna random draw cute buttercups and daises (name of cows) on innocent ppl.

or i wan carl's jr beef chili cheese criss cut fries.

soup! a really creative special hall dinner ytd. although more salty then flavourful.

rah. i wish exams can quickly be over. meanwhile, am living a sinful sinful life. hahahaha. bored to tears.

If everyone cared and nobody cried,
If everyone loved and nobody lied,
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride,
Then we'd see the day, when nobody died.

Posted by Jeannie at 5:33 PM

Monday, April 23, 2007

i just wasted 45 minutes to change my blogskin when i have an exam tml at 9am. oops.

computing+sociology=brain damage.

random pictures..

very nice ice cream!

the sleeping hamster. cheeky hamster.
very cute baby! char siew bao. not mine lah.

yay. all nice things to cure exam stress.

Posted by Jeannie at 8:56 PM

Saturday, April 21, 2007

OMG.

my blog is turning into one of those i hate to read.

the depressing, always whining about the same old sob story blog.

i hated myself as i read it.

i've lost myself la shit. hahahaha

damn.

after exams. i'll start finding myself back.

Posted by Jeannie at 2:04 PM

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

friendster is a lethal place.

a place tt reminds you tt when u wish so hard to forget someone, and when you start to believe they dun exist, reminds you.

reminds you. like a slap to the face.

this hurts. wound torn apart hurt.

how can u be so happy without me.

and y am i so pathetic without you?

how can u just waltz into my life and just right out, leaving me in ruins.

while u waltz into her life. and she into yours. so happily.

betrayed my trust for you. betrayed what we have.

i hate you.

you dun exist. i dun want you so exist.

what can i do to get tt happy image of you out of my brain now?

haha im so stupid. so stupid to think tt if i dun think abt you, dun see you, delete all your existance from my life, things will be right.

1 year later, i faced my fears. i looked at your friendster. reduced to tears.

you have completely ruined my ability to love someone else. they become ppl who rescue me instead.

the pain again.

looks like the healing curve starts again.

when can i look back at this post and laugh at myself?

let it be soon.

Posted by Jeannie at 2:42 PM

Monday, April 16, 2007

im really curious.

what do ppl do to bitches and sluts who seduce their men?

do ppl take revenge?

take for example u know tt your bf's exgf still keeps calling.

she broke his heart be4. yet she wun let go of her claws.

and set off to ruin all his relationships. by nv letting go.

always still twisting him ard her little finger.

always calling, even when told not to call.

how shameless is that?!

and all the while the gf was just right beside there. looking at her call.

so ridiculous. and really amusingly shameless.

and all the while perfectly aware of the other girl, and how much they are hated.

dun ppl hate them? dun they want revenge?

cuz for a fact im obsessed with the idea of revenge.

to have faced so many instances of being able to take revenge and not take it.

so am i a coward? or its it just morals?

weird.

but hear this: even if i dun take revenge, i will curse you tt karma will befall you.

but do karma really befall ppl like tt?

if i dun take it into my own hands, will i live with this grudge forever?

will she carry on being such a slut and breaking the hearts of innocent parties yet not be punished still?

is tt why she carries on being one, cuz she is not punished?

do ppl like her really think they can get away with hurting someone?

im suffocating in this mess.

i need to do something.

Posted by Jeannie at 3:09 AM

Friday, April 06, 2007

i will be strong.

remember the hotline.

no matter wad, i am here. =)

so, no worries.

Posted by Jeannie at 7:40 PM

Monday, April 02, 2007

It is at this kind of time, in the morning, that i feel most vulnerable.

right in the morning.

after all brain juices are sapped up by essays. by a slpless stressful night.

breakfast in stomach.

alone in room. sunlight shining in.

people waking to a brand new day.

birds chirping.

and i cant get to slp.

the brain juices that went to hide during essay writing emerges, thoughts full in brain.

this emptiness.

Remembered what my friend told me a few hours ago.

i havent been happy.

in a long long while. since him. that him.

and as i was busy pretending and convincing myself i was happy,

she saw right through me.

maybe everyone saw right through me. and let me carry on thinking i was happy.

so now, i really want to be happy.

goals. i need goals in my life.

i think i know.