Saturday, May 19, 2007

let me be sad for this one last time.

i looked into myself tonight. into my heart. in the place i fear to look.

and every single day i tell myself, i convince, i persuade.

i laugh at myself and chide myself for being a stupid girl.

move on girl, get a life. life is not just abt failed relationships.

and i got on. for awhile.

you pulled me up when my life was at its worse.

and u pushed me back in.

im so tired.

arent we humans? why do we do things to hurt each other.
y do we lie, and cry. and hurt and wait for karma.

y do we have to make each other confused, depressed, breakdown.
y do we just rip each other apart.

we get ONE life. with this set of ppl tt u meet.

fate. so many ppl in passing each day. and u meet.
as friends, as lovers, as family.

each one unique and beautiful in their own ways.

y do we not cherish?

y do we not stay and solve the problem?

y do we keep leaving each other in pain?

is this, in fact a hateful world after all?

if it is, slap me awake.

stop me from falling into fairytales again and again.

only when i am jaded,

maybe i wun hurt anymore.

and wun hate. wun love.

and breathe.

Posted by Jeannie at 2:00 AM

Monday, May 14, 2007

and i stared at this space.

and feel the mixed emotions in my heart.

do i feel this? or that? or am i convincing myself?

haha so i shall not blog about that.

a chapter has closed.

now its time i lived my own life.

Posted by Jeannie at 1:02 AM

Sunday, May 13, 2007

this last night.

happy birthday.

memories are sweet.

we will move on together.

i will miss you.

Posted by Jeannie at 12:14 AM

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

i don't know wad to do.

i wish someone will understand. and teach me the right way.

maybe life is not so complicated. maybe its me thinking complicated.

its such a horrible mess right now.

of me smiling and convincing others, of me smiling and convincing myself.

5 days. is all i have left.

i wish it was exams. i rather go through sleepless nights, stressful and frantic flipping of notes, cramming of info. where the imminent goodbye seemed far away.

its coming. so fast. i can't breathe.

im scared.

it numbs me.

doesn't it scare you too?

efilruoynitnatropminutahtyllaermaiebyamhguoneeracnudtsujuoyebyam.

Posted by Jeannie at 11:32 PM

Thursday, May 03, 2007

braving the storm on level 7, mugging in the cold, rabbits, hamsters, puppies,pets safari, long bus rides, laughter, marche, xin tian di, wading like ducks in vivocity's pool.

special happy days.

i like! =)

Posted by Jeannie at 3:03 PM

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

last 2 pprs.

it seems to drag on forever!! roar.

on a sad note, my hp decided to die on me. as in all of a sudden the screen decided to go on strike and become wide squiggly lines kind.

so im uncontactable till i get my butt down to the nokia centre and wait for damn long.

no more fuel to study.

moving out on sunday. it should be hard, after not moving out for 2 yrs.

TWO YEARS! gosh. 3 months of no hall.

i think i will miss hall. and dread being stuck home.

but one thing abt hall. i hate politics. REALLY.

get a life ppl. grow up.

Posted by Jeannie at 2:31 PM